The Challenge of being Gay

January 8, 2009

So here I sit, facing down another monster. You’d think that after all this time nestled down in my hole on this spinning globe, I’d be able to look challenges in the face and think of them as something less threatening than a monster. But then again, life is all about monsters.

The loss of a job. Graduation. A parent who’s scrambling to make ends meet. A breakup. A particularly large zit that has insisted on perching itself on the end of your nose just when you’d cleared up. In their own ways, every new challenge is a kind of monster, waiting to be conquered or courted, depending on the circumstances.

I face several such challenges at this point in my life.

First, there’s the website redesign which, after being nearly completed by one party in November was entirely scrapped because it just wasn’t doing the trick, know what I mean? Ouch. But we look to have take-two up mid to late March and we’re looking forward to courting this monster and winning him as a friend.

Second, there’s my first co-authored novel with a woman with the current release of KISS. It’s a twisting story that harkens back to the “old Ted” only this time with Erin Healy. Jennifer Deshler, the marketing guru at the publisher came up with the marketing tag “Heart Pounding meets Heart Warming” and I think that about sums it up. Typically I write my stories with my alter-ego sitting on my shoulder. Samantha, perhaps you know her. Perhaps that’s why working with Erin who also is a woman came so naturally to me. Early reviews are very strong.

Still, what will all the peeps say?

Thirdly, there’s the release of my first truly “mainstream” novel, BONEMAN’S DAUGHTER. Yes, the novel plumbs spiritual themes about God’s intense love in contrast to the love offered by a very, very wicked killer called BONEMAN, but it’s not specifically labeled as being a story solely for Christians any more than Jesus’ parables were labeled as such.

Says James Rollins, New York Times bestselling author of The Last Oracle: “Ted Dekker’s latest thriller BONEMAN’S DAUGHTERS is a tour-de-force of suspense that demands to be read in one sitting. A twisting story…  made all the more visceral for its taut telling and conflicted characters. ”

Says Brad Meltzer, New York Times bestselling author of The Book of Lies: “BONEMAN’S DAUGHTERS doesn’t just get under your skin. It crawls there, and nests, and raises its head with a bitter tug, like it’s living within you.”

This novel seems to have struck  a unique chord that I’ve sought to strike for years. And where’s the monster in this you ask? Yes, well this brings me to my whole point about being gay. And being Christian. Now please, hang with me here. My reasoning may stretch you, but you wouldn’t be reading anything written by me if you didn’t like to be stretched now and then.

You see, I used to be “gay.” In fact, if I had been published twenty years ago at the height of my gayness, I might have been branded “The Gay Author.”

Then things changed. I didn’t change, my happy self remained constant, as did all of what made me merry and carefree and thus I remained quite… well, gay. But the word “gay” itself began to change until one day it no longer meant happy, but rather “homosexual.” And once being gay, which only meant “happy,” I was no longer gay because I am now and always have been happily heterosexual.

No matter how much anyone might want the term gay to mean what it once did, it’s the hearer of a word, as much as the speaker, who determines any terms real meaning. That’s how words and communication works.

So the real challenge of being gay today is that I’m not. Although I was at one time and still am quite happy and carefree.

Now, back to BoneMan’s Daughter and, more specifically, whether BoneMan’s Daughters is a piece of Evangelical Christian Fiction. Like the word gay, the term “Evangelical Christian Fiction” has changed over the last twenty years. For starters the term “Evangelical” is fast becoming a measure of ones fanaticism and dedication to particular political and social agendas rather than a term that denotes doctrinal convictions or affiliations. The term “Christian” is close on its heels.  Put together the meaning of phrase “Evangelical Christian” means one thing in Atlanta, and another thing entirely in New York or Boston. In one city it means protestant, in another it means bigoted, politically motivated, fundamentalist who hates liberals and is willing to take up arms to prove it. Or something like that.

If that is what is understood by “Evangelical Christian” than I have never written “Evangelical Christian” novels, and I should certainly never be counted as a bigoted, politically motivated, fundamentalist who hates liberals, particularly if I have any intention of following the teachings of Jesus. In fact, an argument could me made that in many places “Evangelical Christian” is decidedly un-Christian. Please take no offense, both are just words that became associated with Christ long after his time on earth.

I myself am a believer, unshaken in my convictions, and every novel I write grapples with those very same convictions. Still, BoneMan’s Daughters is my first which sheds the label “Evangelical Christian Fiction” in part because the term is radically misunderstood by half the country. Will Christian bookstores like Family, LifeWay and Parable still promote a book of mine like BoneMan’s Daughters which contains no offensive language or sex and explores God’s sacrificial love? Of course. It’s hardly different than Thr3e (which CBA stores voted fiction title of the year in 2003) or a number of other novels I’ve written in this respect. CBA stores carry many products and books not specifically labeled as “Evangelical,” beginning with the Bible itself.

Will my current readers buy BoneMan’s Daughter? If they like my thrillers, yes, it’s a humdinger and will challenge any reader’s understanding of God’s love.

But the issue of labeling a book surfaces a deeper one facing our culture today. Are our books decidedly Evangelical Christian? For that matter, are we? Are you? Or has the term’s meaning changed over time, like the word Gay?

If the term “Evangelical Christian” no longer properly describes a follower of Jesus to a growing segment of our society, should you, knowing this, use it?

Or, should you use the term only among those who understand what you mean by it, and use a different term among those who don’t know what you mean? I know it sounds like I’m begging the question, but I really do want you to help me form an opinion. This is an issue that is facing us all, including our good friends in CBA bookstores.

Tell me what you think by clicking on comments below, then go to the home page of Teddekker.com and vote on the poll. And thank you for carefully considering a difficult question.

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802 Comments

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    {Hi|Hello}, i think that i saw you visited my {blog|weblog|website|web site|site} {so|thus} i came to “return the favor”.{I am|I’m} {trying to|attempting to} find things to {improve|enhance} my {website|site|web site}!I suppose its ok to use {some of|a few of} your ideas!!\

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    |
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    Woah! I’m really {loving|enjoying|digging} the template/theme of this {site|website|blog}.
    It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s {very hard|very difficult|challenging|tough|difficult|hard} to get
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    {In addition|Additionally|Also}, the blog
    loads {very|extremely|super} {fast|quick} for me on {Safari|Internet
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    These are {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {great|enormous|impressive|wonderful|fantastic} ideas in {regarding|concerning|about|on the topic of} blogging.
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    {I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you guys {are|are
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    I’m {book-marking|bookmarking} and will be tweeting this to my followers! {Terrific|Wonderful|Great|Fantastic|Outstanding|Exceptional|Superb|Excellent} blog and {wonderful|terrific|brilliant|amazing|great|excellent|fantastic|outstanding|superb} {style and design|design and style|design}.|
    {I love|I really like|I enjoy|I like|Everyone loves} what you guys {are|are usually|tend to be} up too. {This sort of|This type of|Such|This kind of} clever work and {exposure|coverage|reporting}! Keep up the {superb|terrific|very good|great|good|awesome|fantastic|excellent|amazing|wonderful} works guys I’ve
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    |
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    {stating|sharing} which blog platform you’re {working with|using}? I’m {looking|planning|going} to
    start my own blog {in the near future|soon} but I’m having a {tough|difficult|hard} time {making a decision|selecting|choosing|deciding} between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your {design and style|design|layout} seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something
    {completely unique|unique}. P.S {My apologies|Apologies|Sorry} for {getting|being} off-topic but I had to
    ask!|
    {Howdy|Hi there|Hi|Hey there|Hello|Hey} would
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    company|web host} you’re {utilizing|working with|using}? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 {completely different|different} {internet
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    Can you {suggest|recommend} a good {internet hosting|web hosting|hosting} provider at a {honest|reasonable|fair}
    price? {Thanks a lot|Kudos|Cheers|Thank you|Many thanks|Thanks}, I appreciate it!
    |
    {I love|I really like|I like|Everyone loves} it {when people|when individuals|when folks|whenever people} {come together|get together} and share {opinions|thoughts|views|ideas}.
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    I {{leave|drop|{write|create}} a {comment|leave a response}|drop a {comment|leave a response}|{comment|leave a response}} {each time|when|whenever} I {appreciate|like|especially enjoy} a {post|article} on a {site|{blog|website}|site|website} or {I have|if I have} something to {add|contribute|valuable to contribute} {to the discussion|to the conversation}. {It is|Usually it is|Usually it’s|It’s} {a result of|triggered by|caused by} the {passion|fire|sincerness} {communicated|displayed} in the {post|article} I {read|looked at|browsed}. And {on|after} this {post|article} The Challenge of being Gay | Ted Dekker Official Site. I {{was|was actually} moved|{was|was actually} excited} enough to {drop|{leave|drop|{write|create}}|post} a {thought|{comment|{comment|leave a response}a response}} {:-P|:)|;)|;-)|:-)} I {do have|actually do have} {{some|a few} questions|a couple of questions|2 questions} for you {if you {don’t|do not|usually do not|tend not to} mind|if it’s {allright|okay}}. {Is it|Could it be} {just|only|simply} me or {do|does it {seem|appear|give the impression|look|look as if|look like} like} {some|a few} of {the|these} {comments|responses|remarks} {look|appear|come across} {like they are|as if they are|like} {coming from|written by|left by} brain dead {people|visitors|folks|individuals}? :-P And, if you are {posting|writing} {on|at} {other|additional} {sites|social sites|online sites|online social sites|places}, {I’d|I would} like to {follow|keep up with} {you|{anything|everything} {new|fresh} you have to post}. {Could|Would} you {list|make a list} {all|every one|the complete urls} of {your|all your} {social|communal|community|public|shared} {pages|sites} like your {twitter feed, Facebook page or linkedin profile|linkedin profile, Facebook page or twitter feed|Facebook page, twitter feed, or linkedin profile}?|
    {Hi there|Hello}, I enjoy reading {all of|through} your {article|post|article post}. I {like|wanted} to write a little comment to support you.|
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    I {always|for all time|all the time|constantly|every time} emailed this {blog|weblog|webpage|website|web site} post page to all my {friends|associates|contacts}, {because|since|as|for the reason that} if like to read it {then|after that|next|afterward} my {friends|links|contacts} will too.|
    My {coder|programmer|developer} is trying to {persuade|convince} me to move to .net from PHP. I have always disliked the idea because of the {expenses|costs}. But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using {Movable-type|WordPress} on {a number of|a variety of|numerous|several|various} websites for about a year and am {nervous|anxious|worried|concerned} about switching to another platform. I have heard {fantastic|very good|excellent|great|good} things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can {transfer|import} all my wordpress {content|posts} into it? {Any kind of|Any} help would be {really|greatly} appreciated!|
    {Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day}! I could have sworn I’ve {been to|visited} {this blog|this web site|this website|this site|your blog} before but after {browsing through|going through|looking at} {some of the|a few of the|many of the} {posts|articles} I realized it’s new to me. {Anyways|Anyhow|Nonetheless|Regardless}, I’m {definitely|certainly} {happy|pleased|delighted} {I found|I discovered|I came across|I stumbled upon} it and I’ll be {bookmarking|book-marking} it and checking back {frequently|regularly|often}!|
    {Terrific|Great|Wonderful} {article|work}! {This is|That is} {the type of|the kind of} {information|info} {that are meant to|that are supposed to|that should} be shared {around the|across the} {web|internet|net}. {Disgrace|Shame} on {the {seek|search} engines|Google} for {now not|not|no longer} positioning this {post|submit|publish|put up} {upper|higher}! Come on over and {talk over with|discuss with|seek advice from|visit|consult with} my {site|web site|website} . {Thank you|Thanks} =)|
    Heya {i’m|i am} for the first time here. I {came across|found} this board and I find It {truly|really} useful & it helped me out {a lot|much}. I hope to give something back and {help|aid} others like you {helped|aided} me.|
    {Hi|Hello|Hi there|Hello there|Howdy|Greetings}, {I think|I believe|I do believe|I do think|There’s no doubt that} {your site|your website|your web site|your blog} {might be|may be|could be|could possibly be} having {browser|internet browser|web browser} compatibility {issues|problems}. {When I|Whenever I} {look at your|take a look at your} {website|web site|site|blog} in Safari, it looks fine {but when|however when|however, if|however, when} opening in {Internet Explorer|IE|I.E.}, {it has|it’s got} some overlapping issues. {I just|I simply|I merely} wanted to {give you a|provide you with a} quick heads up! {Other than that|Apart from that|Besides that|Aside from that}, {fantastic|wonderful|great|excellent} {blog|website|site}!|
    {A person|Someone|Somebody} {necessarily|essentially} {lend a hand|help|assist} to make {seriously|critically|significantly|severely} {articles|posts} {I would|I might|I’d} state. {This is|That is} the {first|very first} time I frequented your {web page|website page} and {to this point|so far|thus far|up to now}? I {amazed|surprised} with the {research|analysis} you made to {create|make} {this actual|this particular} {post|submit|publish|put up} {incredible|amazing|extraordinary}. {Great|Wonderful|Fantastic|Magnificent|Excellent} {task|process|activity|job}!|
    Heya {i’m|i am} for {the primary|the first} time here. I {came across|found} this board and I {in finding|find|to find} It {truly|really} {useful|helpful} & it helped me out {a lot|much}. {I am hoping|I hope|I’m hoping} {to give|to offer|to provide|to present} {something|one thing} {back|again} and {help|aid} others {like you|such as you} {helped|aided} me.|
    {Hello|Hi|Hello there|Hi there|Howdy|Good day|Hey there}! {I just|I simply} {would like to|want to|wish to} {give you a|offer you a} {huge|big} thumbs up {for the|for your} {great|excellent} {info|information} {you have|you’ve got|you have got} {here|right here} on this post. {I will be|I’ll be|I am} {coming back to|returning to} {your blog|your site|your website|your web site} for more soon.|
    I {always|all the time|every time} used to {read|study} {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} in news papers but now as I am a user of {internet|web|net} {so|thus|therefore} from now I am using net for {articles|posts|articles or reviews|content}, thanks to web.|
    Your {way|method|means|mode} of {describing|explaining|telling} {everything|all|the whole thing} in this {article|post|piece of writing|paragraph} is {really|actually|in fact|truly|genuinely} {nice|pleasant|good|fastidious}, {all|every one} {can|be able to|be capable of} {easily|without difficulty|effortlessly|simply} {understand|know|be aware of} it, Thanks a lot.|
    {Hi|Hello} there, {I found|I discovered} your {blog|website|web site|site} {by means of|via|by the use of|by way of} Google {at the same time as|whilst|even as|while} {searching for|looking for} a {similar|comparable|related} {topic|matter|subject}, your {site|web site|website} {got here|came} up, it {looks|appears|seems|seems to be|appears to be like} {good|great}. {I have|I’ve} bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.
    {Hello|Hi} there, {simply|just} {turned into|became|was|become|changed into} {aware of|alert to} your {blog|weblog} {thru|through|via} Google, {and found|and located} that {it is|it’s} {really|truly} informative. {I’m|I am} {gonna|going to} {watch out|be careful} for brussels. {I will|I’ll} {appreciate|be grateful} {if you|should you|when you|in the event you|in case you|for those who|if you happen to} {continue|proceed} this {in future}. {A lot of|Lots of|Many|Numerous} {other folks|folks|other people|people} {will be|shall be|might be|will probably be|can be|will likely be} benefited {from your|out of your} writing. Cheers!|
    {I am|I’m} curious to find out what blog {system|platform} {you have been|you happen to be|you are|you’re} {working with|utilizing|using}? I’m {experiencing|having} some {minor|small} security {problems|issues} with my latest {site|website|blog} and {I would|I’d} like to find something more {safe|risk-free|safeguarded|secure}. Do you have any {solutions|suggestions|recommendations}?|
    {I am|I’m} {extremely|really} impressed with your writing skills {and also|as well as} with the layout on your {blog|weblog}. Is this a paid theme or did you {customize|modify} it yourself? {Either way|Anyway} keep up the {nice|excellent} quality writing, {it’s|it is} rare to see a {nice|great} blog like this one {these days|nowadays|today}.|
    {I am|I’m} {extremely|really} {inspired|impressed} {with your|together with your|along with your} writing {talents|skills|abilities} {and also|as {smartly|well|neatly} as} with the {layout|format|structure} {for your|on your|in your|to your} {blog|weblog}. {Is this|Is that this} a paid {subject|topic|subject matter|theme} or did you {customize|modify} it {yourself|your self}? {Either way|Anyway} {stay|keep} up the {nice|excellent} {quality|high quality} writing, {it’s|it is} {rare|uncommon} {to peer|to see|to look} a {nice|great} {blog|weblog} like this one {these days|nowadays|today}..|
    {Hi|Hello}, Neat post. {There is|There’s} {a problem|an issue} {with your|together with your|along with your} {site|web site|website} in {internet|web} explorer, {may|might|could|would} {check|test} this? IE {still|nonetheless} is the {marketplace|market} {leader|chief} and {a large|a good|a big|a huge} {part of|section of|component to|portion of|component of|element of} {other folks|folks|other people|people} will {leave out|omit|miss|pass over} your {great|wonderful|fantastic|magnificent|excellent} writing {due to|because of} this problem.|
    {I’m|I am} not sure where {you are|you’re} getting your {info|information}, but {good|great} topic. I needs to spend some time learning {more|much more} or understanding more. Thanks for {great|wonderful|fantastic|magnificent|excellent} {information|info} I was looking for this {information|info} for my mission.|
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